A football player comes into the church and asks the priest:
- "Good day holy father. Would it be a sin for me to play the game on Sundays?"
- "My son... I've been watching your games, and it would be a sin for you to play on any day"

Little Johnny goes to the teacher after class and asks:
- "Can a student call teacher a 'pig'?"
- "No! Most certainly he may not!"
- "And can he call pig a 'teacher'?"
After carefull thinking she replies:
- "Yes... I suppose one could"
- "OK then! Goodbye...... TEACHER!"

A wife and her husband went to marriage counsellor about their problems.
The counsellor asks them:
- "When was the last time you had sex?"
The husband replies straight away:
- "I had yesterday".

Teacher calls Johnny after class and asks:
- Why are you always late for school?
Johnny replies:
- Because there's a warning sign on the corner that says: "Slow down - school ahead!"

What's fortune in missfortune?
- When your wife says you have biggest penis in the neighbourhood.