What do you call a man who lost 75% of his intellegence?

Divorced

A mother is in a store with her three-year-old son. While in an aisle, the little boy covered his butt with his hands and jumped up and down. Before his mother could figure out what was wrong, he'd soiled himself.

"Honey," his mom told him, "you've got to let me know when you have to potty. Just tell me you have to go."

The boy quickly learned to say "I gots to go!" or "Gotta go!" when nature came calling.

After three weeks of the boy's pottying, the proud father decides to take the boy to a carnival. When they arrived, the dad excitedly told his son, "Hey, let's go on the ferris wheel together."

Fifteen minutes later, they were banned from the carnival.

Person 1: Did you hear the news? That actress got killed.

Person 2: Oh My God! Which one?

Person 1: It was Reese something.

Person 2: Witherspoon?

Person 1: No, with a knife.

Blondes and Ice Cubes

Q: Why can't blondes make ice cubes?
A: Because they always forget the recipe.

Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and Bill Gates all died in a plane crash and went to meet their maker.

The supreme deity turned to Al and asked, tell what is important about yourself. Al responded that he felt that the earth was the ultimate importance and that protecting the earth's ecological system was most important. God looked to Al and said, " I like the way you think, come and sit at my left hand".

God then asked Bill Clinton what he revered most. Bill Clinton responded that he felt people and their personal choices were most important. God responded, " I like the way you think, come and sit at my right hand".

God then turned to Bill Gates, who was staring at him indignantly. God asked "What is your problem Bill Gates?" Bill Gates responded " I think you are sitting in my chair".